What a day ......



Me!!!!



Sunday started for me just like it did for everyone - I opened my eyes after sleep.  Great thing was it wasn't morning!  I'd managed to sleep 'the sleep of the dead' as they say and finally joined the land of the living at 13.45.  Staggered downstairs needing coffee and a death stick (ciggie).  That's how I start every day.  Not always so late, but sometimes .......  Well, bed is a safe place for all.  A place where we go when it feels like everything has become too much, sometimes for some hanky panky but more often than not because we're tired.  

Anyway back to the start of my day.  I downed my first coffee and smoked my ciggie stood at the back door.  Birds singing and busy collecting nest building materials.  Next door to us they have a huge hedge which at this time of year is like a Sparrow Nursery.  So much pleasure in watching them, not a care in the world.  I do think sometimes, wouldn't it be lovely to be a Sparrow, nothing to worry about apart from a comfy nest and hoping that there are a few fat balls around so I can have a good meal.  I know, you sit reading this thinking, 'WHAT!'.  Today wasn't a wishing to be a Sparrow day.  No. Today was a day where I felt like I was approaching the bottom of my mental world.  Have to get a grip.  

Another coffee, and yet another coffee.  TV is on and no-one watching it.  Change channels and see if anyone notices.  No, they didn't.  Watch the craft channel for a while then.  I got lost in my own little world, but it wasn't long before I was bumped back to reality with a question from my daughter Vicky, 'What we having for tea?'.  Haven't a clue.  Need to get some food shopping in.  Told to make a list and her and Richard (eldest son) would visit Tesco.  You know when your brain is having an 'off day' when you can't do something as simple as making a shopping list.  Did put some things down but the only thing I really wanted were 'the anti-murder sticks'.  So far, quite a normal day, but my brain was telling me different.

I need to do something.  What?  I know, knit some snug boots for a friends baby due anytime.  Years ago they would have called it occupational therapy.  It keeps my brain busy, that's what matters.  Even knitting my mind wanders.  I was off on my travels with my dad.  Memories are a wonderful thing.  We can open our memory box and go wherever we want and answer to no-one.  My dad and I were building a snowman beside the road.  We were in the Troudos mountains in Cyprus.  Time with my dad has always been special.  He is my hero.  I remember it being cold, expected in snow, but going back home that afternoon we had a bar-b-que!!  The difference in temprature betwen the mountains and the coast where we lived amazed me.  

I enjoyed my memory visit, but now it was time to talk to self.  Time to be a mother and wife.  Make tea etc..  Tea was made by the kids, I made the pudding.  My mind is rushing round a high speed.  Too fast for me.  I want it to slow down.  It's all over the place.  Still knitting.  That helps, it slows my mind down a little.  Sat thinking about what to write on my blog to make it interesting, but it's my blog and my chance to put down how and what I feel, what has happened in my day.  Maybe then as I read it back I might get an insight as to how and what makes me tick, lol.  Anyway, I need another coffee and am tired now, so goodnight and thank you.

Olwyn